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Monday, September 8, 2014

Bullying and Me

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen this tweet from me:

"Y'know... I see all of these anti-bullying ads everywhere. Why can't they put up ads saying "be someone's friend?" That'd put an end to it." (https://twitter.com/MrGeo_Terra/status/509129806605471744)

Me and bullying go way back. I'm talking back to kindergarten. I was that quiet kid in the back that was far ahead in his years (I'm not kidding, I could read Harry Potter-level books at that age) that was happy to sit off to the side of the playground, lost in his own little world. Unfortunately that opened me up to the brutal bullying that kids are prone to enacting. Vicious little buggers...

The unfortunate thing was that I was speech-impaired at the beginning of my life; I didn't start talking until I was about three and I was still learning how to even in kindergarten. Fortunately, I found and made a tight little group of friends that helped to kill the pain. Thank goodness.

Bullying followed me through the school system and became really pronounced in Grade 3. A girl pushed my, now, ex-girlfriend off of the jungle gym and on to the pebbles below. Without thinking, I rushed up the jungle gym and pushed the offender off myself. Fortunately, a teacher had seen what happened so I didn't get into trouble. Unfortunately, as I was walking home a bunch of Grade 6's jumped me and started beating me up. My mother's intuition went off at that point and she came running to see me at the bottom of a pile. She threatened to push charges against the kids and they were immediately moved to other schools.

Skip forward to about Grade 7. This is where things get a bit dark. Bullying was, for lack of a better word, rampant at this particular school and I fell right in the middle of the monster's rampage. This was also the time where my ADHD (even though I didn't know it was that at the time) was being irritating. The bullying I received started me on my deep spiral into depression. At first it was me sitting against the wall at lunch curled up and bashing the back of my head into the wall. Yep. Toward the middle of the second half of the year, I seriously began considering suicide as way to silence the abusive voice both around me and within my head.

Normally, I have a near-perfect memory, but I can't recall for the life of me what happened to pull me out of that spiral, but it worked. I got out. I HATED it. I loathed the pain that the whole situation caused me and the people around me.

After I enrolled in mixed martial arts in the summer between Grade 8 or 9, and someone saw me practicing kobudo out on my front lawn (I was practicing with my Bo staff at the time), word spread around and everyone stayed clear of me.

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Anyways, enough of that before my depression returns just from re-reading that. The point I'm trying to make is that bullying could be fought so much better if these companies would stop telling people what the problem IS and started to telling people HOW to solve the problem: "Make friends." (That and give up on earning money from their damn ads...)

Looking back on my past, it was friends that helped get away from bullying or to be each other's safety net. Friends are priceless. Cherish them please. I am BEGGING you.

It literally hurts me internally to see so many people in pain from bullying or their own problems. It also hurts to know that no matter how much I try to connect with them, they'd much rather suffer in silence; to keep the hurt to themselves which does nothing to help them or me because it hurts me too.

My shyness aside, I would LOVE to be friends with all of the people I come across, if not actual friends, then I want to be the person they come to for a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. I love helping people.

I am one of the few men out there that has learned that it's okay to let my feelings show and am not afraid to get close to people. This has been my key to breaking through many people's walls and being able to help them.

I suppose this is a good time to explain something: my avatar. The crystal heart. My feelings have been tested over and over again, especially with my being dumped by my ex-girlfriend (Yes, she dumped me). We all know how diamonds form, and that is how the concept for my avatar was born. I let my feelings shine like a diamond.

In any case, this was something I felt that I had to get off of my chest. So, I will bid you all a good timezone.

Just remember, no matter what, I will continue to care and be concerned for everyone's safety. I love you all. I don't care what walk of life you're from, or what you look like; we're all same deep down... and, well... Just remember, "You've got a friend in me..." (Yes, Toy Story).

Take care all,
Geo Terra